Tuesday, October 4, 2011

not forgotten

I wasn't going to write a post today. Today is Tuesday, and I usually link up with Jami for "we encourage tuesday". But, this morning, as I sat down to write, I just couldn't muster up a post that would be encouraging. To be honest, the past few days have been pretty rough for me. Lots of crying. Lots of emotions.

Sometimes, as a mother of five little ones, I feel forgotten.
Isolated.
Alone.
Left behind.

Don't get me wrong - I love my children. I know I am so blessed to have them. It's just hard sometimes.

Today was no exception. I have just been so down. Trying hard to find my joy. Trying hard to focus on Jesus.

I walked over to church today with Joseph and Robby in the double stroller to go pick up Ruth from preschool. There was a solemn assembly going on (an all day prayer and worship gathering).  I could hear the music down the hall from Ruth's preschool classroom. I walked with the three children to the service. I stood outside the door and listened in. I knew that they would be too loud if we went inside. So, as I stood outside, peering in the window watching all the people lifting their hands up high and crying out in prayer, tears rolled down my cheeks. Yet again, I was on the outside looking in. Forgotten. Left behind.

I pushed the big double stroller back home, and as we made our way through the church parking lot, I said to the Lord, "I feel forgotten."

One minute later, I noticed something sparkling on the asphalt. A little string of irridescent black beads. I picked it up, with tear-stained cheeks. I counted the beads - seven. 


Seven. One for each member of my family.


And I knew in that moment that God was speaking to my heart. 

He sees me. He knows me.

He knows me by name.

And He has not forgotten me.




You have searched me, LORD,
   and you know me. 
 
 You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar. 
 
 You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways. 
 
 Before a word is on my tongue
   you, LORD, know it completely. 
 
 You hem me in behind and before,
   and you lay your hand upon me.

{psalm 139:1-5}

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So, I guess the Lord had an encouraging word for me to share after all.
A rhema word. A now word.
For all of us who feel forgotten and left behind:
He sees us. 
And He knows us. 
And He has most definitely not forgotten us.

(linking with:)





10 comments:

  1. I know how that feels. And it happens whether you have a large family or a small one. I love how God so sweetly reminded you of His love for you. I love hearing about all the different ways He cares for his children.Unique to each one of us.

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  2. Lora, that was beautiful! The Lord spoke to you because you were open to His voice. He loves you sooo much! He gave you a gift! I love God shots! If i was there I would give you a big hug and hold your hand.

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  3. that was so beautiful.

    He does speak. whispers so sweetly in such volume. <3

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  4. wonderful reminder! thank you. i love how patient and gentle He is with us.

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  5. Anonymous9:49 PM

    I'm sending you a hug from VA. I think you are lovely. Thank you for being brave enough to be real. Everything you shared is what I needed to read today because today was a rough one and I felt like somoene was sharing my load. Lots of love to you, sister... kitsy

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  6. Ah, sweet lady, I just wrote and posted on Jami's about not wanting to post today because I'm just feeling blah, in a funk. Praying for you as you take care of your little ones, that you will be filled to the measure of the fullness of God!

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  7. beautiful... simply and wonderfully.

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  8. And we live for His glory. He is waiting for us to give it back to Him every day....and you do that faithfully, Lora. Thanks for sharing.

    Happy Friday!

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  9. Ohmygosh! Yes, and amen! I read this post twice, I just LOVE it! I was just telling me best friend today that I feel like no one pursue's me. (sort of like what you're saying about feeling forgotten), and I only have ONE child! I can totally see how stressful your days could be, and how you'd feel lost in the shuffle just working and trying and keeping everything together--you sweet soul you. This story was right out of the bible it seemed, I mean to find those string of "beads"...and 7 of them! SO beautiful God!!! And then to end this post with what I have to remember minute by minute, HE has not forgotten us, HE notices us, HE sees us.
    Thanks Lora!

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