Monday, September 12, 2011

thoughts on the reality of motherhood


(I cried while I was writing this post. So, be warned - you might want to get a tissue out. :) )

I made this necklace yesterday afternoon, while the little ones were napping and the older ones were at school. I was full of faith, feeling the presence of God so strong in my house . With my candle burning and worship music playing, it was easy to "feel the Spirit". And as I stamped out that little word, "believe", I could hear the angels singing. (not really, but you get my drift...)


"All things are possible for those who believe." Mark 9:23

I felt really good.

Fast forward two hours later....

The boys had come home from school, the other three kids had gotten up from their naps, and chaos was in full force. It was a long afternoon and evening. And I confess I did not behave as Christlike as I should have. I yelled a little too much. I didn't show my little ones as much mercy and forgiveness and grace as I ought to have. And, after I had put them to bed, I sat down at my computer, heaving a big sigh, feeling defeated and upset with myself.  Just a mere six hours earlier, I was worshiping Jesus in my kitchen, praying up a storm, and so happy with myself that I was so "spiritual". (ha!)

It's hard being a mom sometimes, isn't it?! 
(I'm pretty sure some of you out there reading this are nodding your heads, too :) )

It's hard, but there is grace.
There is mercy.
And thankfully, God is a God of second chances. (and thirds, and fourths....)
And His mercies are new every morning. 


And this is the kicker - the thing that God knocked me over the head with, even as I was writing this post -

He hadn't abandoned me when my kids were screaming and talking back to me.
He was still there. 
He was waiting for me to call on Him for help.
He was right. there. with. me.
All I had to do was utter His name.

So, God impressed upon me yesterday afternoon, before the crazy evening with kids, to make a necklace that said "believe". He knew that I would need to cling to that scripture, just a few hours later. 

"All things are possible for those who believe." Mark 9:23

{not just some things, all things.}

Lord, help me to truly believe when I pray. 
Help me to trust You. 
Help me rest in You and in Your ways;
Your methods. 
Your timetable for my life.

And let me close with this last thought:

Shortly before I went to bed last night, I heard Joseph crying up in his room. (He's been fighting a cold.) I dragged myself upstairs, so tired from such a long day, and went to him. He was sitting up in his bed, barely able to breathe from all of the congestion. I laid him back down and smoothed his ruffled hair against his forehead (with the little freckle that I love square in the middle of it). I talked softly to him, prayed over him, and laid my head down against the blue plastic bed frame of his toddler bed. As I sat there, I started to get tears in my eyes. (and even now, I am getting misty-eyed as I type this). I knew in that moment that I was in the perfect will of God. I was exactly where I was supposed to be. No guessing games. No frantic searching for "my calling". I was there. Comforting my little boy in the middle of the night. Helping him get back to sleep.

It's one of the greatest blessings in life. I'm convinced.




(linking up with:)



10 comments:

  1. What a beautiful little family you have :) Isn't it wonderful that we can call upon our God anytime, even amongst chaos and he is always there?
    Thanks for sharing!

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  2. This wis wonderful - and thank for the warning on the tissues.

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  3. Wow this is so sweet. When you spoke of going into your son's room, helping him get back to sleep, it brought tears to my eyes. Because there have been so many moments when I've done that same thing with my son, and as hard as it is to get myself up out of bed and into his room, once I'm in there comforting him I know that, as you said, I am in God's perfect will at that moment. Moments like that are His calling for us as mothers.

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  4. Thank you for sharing this. It's so vulnerable & I pray that when I am a mama I remember to call on Him, constantly.

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  5. ack, suck a sweet post. And so true sometimes we feel like we're ready to pull out our hair but those moments,....motherhood in general, that's right where He wants us to be.

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  6. Just lovely. What a wonderful reminder to moms that we are in the will of God being mothers. He is so good to us even tho we aren't even a little bit deserving of it.

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  7. what a beautiful post! i loved it. i clicked over from jami's blog and i so resonate with everything you're saying. and i LOVE that necklace. how beautiful of a reminder that God equips up just in time. it's simply up to us to keep our hearts open and receptive to His encouragement to believe.

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  8. there IS mercy.
    there IS grace!
    praise JESUS.

    soooo thankful for you, lora.
    xo

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  9. I love this Lora! Being a Mom can be hard but I'm learning to pray with expectation. Expecting that God can change my heart, expecting that the Spirit can work through me. So grateful for you! xoxo

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