That's what I keep telling myself. That's what I've been telling myself for four years. When we moved here four years ago so that Clint could teach at the school here, we gave up a lot. We moved away from our families, a great church home, lots of wonderful friends, and Clint took a major paycut. He was teaching in the public school, making a really great salary with full benefits. We came here on FAITH, knowing that it would be hard to make ends meet, but that it would be worth it. We were thinking not only of Clint's calling to teach in a Christian environment, but also of our children that would get to go to the school as well. When we moved here, I was newly pregnant with Ruth. Benjamin was just three years old and Leo had just celebrated his first birthday.
To be totally honest, I've second-guessed our choices lately. Things have been so hard that I've questioned God. Clint had to take a second job shortly after we moved here. He's gone a lot, working hard to pay the bills. I do a lot of it on my own - taking care of the kids, housework, etc. And it can definitely get lonely... But, we've tried to stay strong and keep our eyes on what this is all for - our children...
Clint took Benjamin and Leo to church on Sunday, while I stayed home with the baby and the other two. About an hour later, I got a pix message from Clint with this picture and message:
Clint told me later that Benjamin really worshipped that morning. For two long songs, Benjamin was fully engaged and had his hands high up in the air or cupped in front of him. He was singing his little heart out to God. And Clint just watched in wonder and thankfulness.
He's right, this is why it's worth it. Everything we've sacrificed. All the long nights. The months where we needed a miracle just to pay our bills. The times when our pantry and fridge were sparse.
I thank God that our boys can go to the school where Clint teaches. They are learning how to enter into God's presence. They are learning about faith and prayer. And worship. Each day, their teachers have a time of worship in their little classrooms. The children pray for each other and sometimes, even for the teacher. They are being taught about Jesus and His sacrifice. And now, I am beginning to see the fruit. In my sons.
All of us as mothers give up so much each day to pour into the lives of our children! But our efforts are not in vain. Every time we show the love of God to our kids and teach them how to know Him better, we are sowing seeds and preparing their little hearts to receive Him!
And it really is all worth it.