Saturday, October 16, 2010

5 am thoughts

I woke up this morning at 5 am. 5. a. m. wide awake. but still totally exhausted and physically done. My midwife seems to think I am going to have this baby early, but I am afraid to start hoping. Since my last two babies were very late, I know that it's a good possibility of this one being late, too. But when I start to think about being pregnant another 5 weeks, I get overwhelmed and almost start to cry. The baby's head pushing down on my pubic bone is almost more than I can take. It is so difficult to walk around - I have taken waddling to a new level.

My house is a disaster. I have so many things that I'd like to clean and organize, but my body just won't allow me to do them. Sitting down and laying down is about all I can do right now. Maybe that's why I want to have this baby as soon as possible, so I can get my old body back and start to get back into a routine again with my housework, etsy shop stuff, kiddos, etc...

I took this about 5:30 this morning to remember how I felt at the end of this pregnancy.
here I am - trying to hold it together. trying to be positive. trying to be thankful in all things.
but at the same time feeling utterly exhausted and physically spent.
Help me, God, to appreciate this time of waiting. Help me to find You in the midst of it all. Remind me that Your timing is perfect. Remind me that my baby will come when he/she is ready to come. And not a minute sooner.
And just so this post is not a total downer, here's a picture I took of Ruth yesterday that astounded me when I uploaded it onto my computer. Look at those beautiful blue eyes!!! Oh my...

true beauty

I might write another post later on this afternoon. Some friends are throwing me a baby shower today! I am very excited about it. I need this time. It's gonna be so good.

Now maybe I'll try to get another hour or so of sleep in before my kids wake up. Hoping that will happen....

Thanks for listening...



  1. oh how i remember. I have 4, and an angel girl in heaven. Take a deep breath, and enjoy these few moments of expectancy. This is how we will be expecting Christs return. This baby will come:) And the wait will be so worth it. I am praying for you. Hold on honey, they will be here before you know it. Houses can always be cleaned. Remember these days, no matter how awful they seem. Take a moment for te or coffee, and puit your feet up.
    Lovingly sending you prayers,

  2. Oh, the last few weeks of pregnancy are enough to make anyone cry. The blessing at the end though makes it so worth it. I love, love, love being pregnant but at the end I am truly done so I know how you feel...especially with other little ones running around!
    Just remember that the house doesn't matter. It will still be dirty tomorrow, you can clean it then. Take care of yourself and that little one in your belly. The Lord works everything else out!

  3. I so understand. I was late for all of mine. Even the twinnie boys were term...after the doctors assured me that they would be early...because all twins are early don't you know!


    I had really big babies, so they really did not need to cook overtime.
    Day at a time.
    Pray for strength.

    BTW:My daughter in law is having her first baby really soon. Due next Saturday. Hoping she doesn't go over.



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