As you know, I haven't been feeling well the past couple of days. And Joseph hasn't either. Yesterday was my hardest day physically. Lots of sneezing, blowing my nose, and feeling like my head was in the clouds. I couldn't wait to go to bed and get the rest I knew my body so desperately needed.
I went to bed at 10pm (which is really early for me) and was awakened at midnight by sounds of Joseph screaming in his crib. I went to get him and found him visibily shaken. His heart was beating so fast. I don't know if he had a bad dream or if he was just so congested that he couldn't really breathe. I took him downstairs and rocked him for awhile, singing and praying in the spirit to try to calm him down.
I sang this little song that was a prayer from my heart,
"Peace, peace, peace, and healing
Fall upon this house
Send Your angels to fight for us
O God, we need you now"
The song and prayers calmed my boy down and I took him back upstairs to his bed. About 15 minutes later, the screaming started again. I ended up bringing him into the bed with Clint and I because I didn't want Joseph to wake up Ruth (they share a room). Well, that child was up for three hours. He would not go to sleep. We tried everything. And through the frustration and the tears and my feelings of utter exhaustion, the Lord started speaking to my heart.
He said, "This is what life is about."
I am always thinking about the things I have to do. You know, the stuff I have to make for Harvest Fest, the laundry that has to be cleaned, the work I have to do for my etsy shop, the dishes that have to be washed, etc...etc...
But in that moment, around 2:30am, God set me straight. As I tried to comfort my son, He showed me that in that specific moment in time, I was exactly in the center of His will. There was nowhere else more important for me to be. I was doing the most important thing that I could do for the Lord. Stroking my child's brow, rubbing his back, and praying over him...
It's not easy putting yourself last. So often, as moms, we have to do that. We have to lay down our own desires and wants for the sake of our children and our husbands. Staying up till 3 am was not my plan for last night. If I had been single, I would have gone to bed at 10pm and slept as late as I wanted. But, I am not single. I have five (soon to be six) other people depending on me. And God is showing me every day how important that is.
That, as I lay down my life for Him by taking care of my family, I am worshipping. I am honoring my God. And He is pleased.
So, today's gonna begin with an extra cup of coffee, and I am going to have to lean more fully on the Lord's strength than ever. But, I can rest in the fact that my baby boy is sound asleep on my bed as I type this, without a care in the world. He is at peace. And I am part of the reason why. And you know what, that feels good! It makes me feel good to know that God can use me in this way. I can offer my body up to Him as a living sacrifice, knowing that that is my spiritual act of worship.
Living this journey of motherhood with you,