Monday, November 16, 2009

self portrait monday

The sun was shining so beautifully this afternoon. I had to capitalize on that light and take a few pictures. Thus, here's my "self portrait monday". I am standing outside my front door, looking out onto my street. I know, I look pretty pensive and sad. That's how I feel most of the time when I look at my street these days. Lots of empty houses from friends and neighbors that have moved away recently. It makes me sad. I know I am just going through the natural grieving process in a way. I have to grieve in order to heal and make sense of all this transition and change going on around me.

Lots of transition and change is also going on inside of me. God is shifting things around in my heart. He's been calling me back to Him for some time now. I heard somewhere a few years ago that "you are only as close to God as you choose to be". That has definitely been true in my own spiritual life. When I feel far away from God, it's usually because I am not putting in the day-to-day effort to spend time alone with Him. Why do I so often give in to my sad feelings and retreat, instead of running to the One that I know will make me feel better? Help me, Lord, in this season of brokenness, to lean wholly on You.

Any words of wisdom or prayers of encouragement would be greatly appreciated!

Lora

3 comments:

  1. Lora, here is a song that may be a comfort and encouragement to you:

    He said that I could come into His presence without fear,
    Into the holy place where His mercy hovers near.
    I'm runnin' to the mercy seat, where Jesus is calling.
    He said His grace would cover me.
    His blood will flow freely
    It will provide the healing.
    I'm runnin' to the mercy seat.

    I'm praying for you.
    Love,
    Mom

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  2. Prayers for a renewed commitment to Christ! It's through those tough, sad times that we do LEARN to rely on Him! Loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength is like a training exercise. It's tough, long, hard but so worth it when we see results. Hugs:))

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  3. This from "Streams in the Desert" speaks to me in a difficult season.

    "Child of My love, lean hard,
    and let Me feel the pressure of your care;
    I know your burden, child. I shaped it;
    Balanced it in Mine Own hand; made no proportion in its weight to your unaided strength, for even as I laid it on, I said, 'I will be near, and while she leans on Me, this burden will be Mine, not hers; so will I keep My child within the circling arms of My Own love'. Here lay it down, nor fear to impose it on a shoulder that upholds the government of worlds. Yet closer come: you are not near enough. I would embrace your care; so I might feel My child reclining on My breast. You love Me, I know. So then do not doubt; but loving Me, lean hard.

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