God's been teaching me a lot about beauty the past few days. I have been struggling with feeling "ugly" lately. It's hard to not feel that way when your body is post-baby. My hair had grown out some and didn't have much style and I can't wear any of my clothes. I know that I should be thankful just to be alive and to have my precious Ruth, but I have really been struggling lately. Anyway, I was giving the boys a bath Friday night and was feeling sorry for myself while I was looking at myself in the mirror. I was especially upset about my hair. Then, before I knew it, I was cutting my own hair! Crazy, I know. I ruined my hair. It was awful! I put the boys to bed in tears and went downstairs with the baby. My sweet neighbors prayed over me and reminded me that I am beautiful in the eyes of the Lord. I am created in His image! I am the apple of His eye! How quickly we as Christians forget our identity in Christ. The enemy tries to make us forget who we are in Jesus so we are trapped in the lies that we are ugly and not worth much. That way, we are totally paralyzed and useless and ineffective in the Kingdom.
I had my hair "fixed" yesterday. It is now in a super-short pixie haircut. It's fine, but my hair is pretty much all gone. I have been grieving a little bit, but the haircut is growing on me. It's definitely low-maintenance! haha... This whole experience has reminded me that my beauty does not come from my outward appearance, but from my heart. That is truly what God sees when He looks at me. Help me, Lord, to see myself as You see me!
"Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31